Leadership Lesson

The hardest role I have ever had to play in life is that of a leader. I have always had the qualities of a leader, but have not always wanted to be one. In my last secular job I was responsible for about 350 people in a building. The hardest thing to do was to get that many people on the same page, doing the same job, hoping to get the same results. I am by no means a small man, and I am not in the least bit shy or quiet. Quite honestly I know I can be intimidating at times. It would have been very easy for me to use my size, demeanor, voice and position to get what I wanted done. But that is not being a leader. That’s being someone with authority who has no leadership skills. I preferred to get people to do things because they wanted to do them; be it that they did them for themselves, for the company or because they respected me, I just wanted them to want to get it done. To me that is what leadership is—leading someone to the desired result not forcing them along the way. It always made me feel good when someone approached me telling me something was already done before I could request it of them. It made me feel even better when we had volunteers step up to fill the needs we had in our facility before I had to appoint people to the positions.

Paul felt the same way with Onesimus and Philemon. After he had decided to send Onesimus back to Philemon’s house, he tells Philemon that as much he wanted to keep Onesimus there to help him on Philemon’s behalf, he is sending him back because he doesn’t want Philemon to feel compelled to leave him there because it was Paul who was asking. Paul wants to give Philemon the opportunity to send Onesimus back to be of comfort and help to Paul while he is imprisoned. Paul had as great a stature in the church as any man, apart from Jesus, could ever have. He could have required it of Philemon; he could have lorded his position over him and made Philemon feel required to leave Onesimus with Paul. But he didn’t. Paul approached the situation delicately and with grace. He did not overstep his bounds and trample over Philemon’s rights or wishes.

How so many of us need to learn to tread lightly with the relationships that we are in with each other. We have come to expect things just because we expect them. Moreover we expect a person to react to our needs because it is us that has the need. We learn from Paul in the book of Philemon that we do a disservice to people when we compel them into making decisions emotionally. We do not allow them to receive their due blessing for the act because it did not originate in them and it may not be in their heart to do it. We need to be leaders and guide people to the answer. We should want to help them make the right decisions, with the right heart and not force them into doing something they don’t want to.

Father I thank You for Your lessons in leadership you provided in Your Son Jesus and through His training of the disciples. I pray that You continue to raise up the leaders we need in this generation. Amen.