Mourning Glory

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)The process of discipleship is a process of sacrifice. In this sacrifice there is a lot of us as individuals giving up things that matter to us so that we take on what matters to Christ in our lives. These things can be earthly possessions that we have accumulated over our lifetime that we have knowingly or unknowingly placed a higher value to than our relationship with Christ. These things that we are asked to sacrifice could be our hopes and dreams for our future and the outcome of our lives—plans that may not be in the plan that God has for our lives. More devastating than all these things is the possibility that we might be asked to sacrifice our relationships with people in our lives which we might have ascribed more worth to than that relationship we have with Jesus.In my discipleship walk there has been a lot of mourning. I have had to give up examples of all of these things—possessions, dreams, and people. It was a very hard action for me to undertake. It was not one of those practices that get easier with each time that I had to do it. For a period of time it was very disheartening. I would sacrifice something that God had asked for and think I was done with all I had to give up, and then he would nudge my spirit and ask for something else. It got to the point that as soon as I had sacrificed something I would turn to God and say “what do you want me to sacrifice next?” It was a hard principle for me to learn. Where is the principle, you ask?We have heard it a thousand times if we have heard it at all—our God is a jealous God. When we enter into a discipleship relationship with Jesus then we need to prepare our hearts and spirits to truly become students that are willing to learn everything that there is to be taught, not just the parts that we have room for in our lives as they are. God will ask for everything that you have placed before him, to be placed in sacrifice to Him on the altar of our hearts.When I decided to follow Christ as a disciple of His teachings I did not think that there was anything that was more important in my life that He was. I was wrong. When I was first decided to take a discipleship walk with Jesus, there were limits to what I could do. I had a more than full time job, so my time was limited. I had a very full social calendar with both friends and family so my time that I was called to serve in had to fit in there as well. When I was first called to the ministry I placed limits on what I would do for God. I absolutely hated the idea of preaching. Just could not, more like would not, do it. I loved to pray for people or give words of encouragement or and words of wisdom, but not preach. I would travel anywhere He called me to go, but I needed to come home after a short while because home was where all the people and things that made up my life were.About year after I thought I had started the disciple walk, I took some time to myself and read through the bible and how the original disciples were called and what they had to sacrifice. I looked at their lives and compared it to what I was prepared to give up. And that was when it hit me—I was prepared to give things up as a sacrifice, as if I was in a negotiation. I was willing to give some things up, not everything. Discipleship is an all or nothing calling, it is not a fast it is a sacrifice. It was this period of time that defined my decision to take the discipleship walk. I asked myself one question, “if God called me tomorrow and told me I was to move another country to minister to His people, and that would be the place where I would end my time on this earth, what are the things that would make it the hardest to go?” As I began to find the answer to that question, I began to bring those things to the altar of my heart and sacrifice them to the Lord.This was in essence the death of me as I had nurtured myself. This is where the largest part of my mourning took place. In deciding on the discipleship walk becoming a reality in my life, I had to watch my identity die as I took on the identity Christ has planned for me. I don’t write that as if I am through this process completely. This dying is a daily even minute to minute process. My mourning never stops. The good thing that comes with mourning though, is the fact that His comfort never stops either. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)Father I thank you for Holy mourning. I pray that all things th